The Business...

This picture cracks me up! The story behind it goes something like this...We have moved to the great, over-regulated state of NJ. This means that anything one needs to accomplish that seems simple, will be extremely, ridiculously complicated. For instance, registering 5 kids for school in the public school system. Before we moved here, I readied myself, collecting and organizing documents that I knew would be needed for registering the boys. Birth certificates, immunization records, proof of residency documents, our family tree, our dogs family tree, a stone from Mt. Olympus and a drop of my very own blood. (JK about the blood!) Anyway, all this to say, I thought I was prepared...I was wrong. So, just one of the many hoops I have been jumping through has led me to the pediatrician's office...many times. Each one of these visits have been a funny story all by themselves, but I thought I'd surmise them for you.

The first visit was for Brey. Height and weight first, to which the nurse responded, "Are you sure he's fourteen?" (6'2" and 200lbs.) "Yep, I'm sure, I was there." I responded. Then we go back to a room where he is told to dress down to his boxers and the dr. would be in shortly. He looks at me and rolls his eyes. "Are you serious?" he says to me. I just smiled and told him he should "man up" and dress down. The dr. came in, examined him and told him he needed three shots. He got those, in the midst of multiple adolescent eye rolling episodes, and we were out the door with our file full of needed paperwork for the high school.

Brey had lots of horror stories for his younger brothers. I didn't pay much attention to his tales of horror, and two days later it was Keller's turn. Again, height and weight, and then the "dressing down" This tween also looked to me longingly to save him. When the dr. arrived, he and Keller chatted about bicycle safety and nutrition while I smiled pleasantly. I am sure Keller thought that the conversation might distract the dr. from the actual examination part of the visit, but he was only left disappointed when the dr. asked Keller if he would like me to leave the room. Keller nodded his head, looking at me with puppy dog eyes as if to say, "take me with you!" I left the room and when I returned Keller was preparing for his three shots. After getting his vaccinations, we left the office, paperwork in hand for the middle school.

Keller shared much of the same horror stories with his younger brothers but provided much more detail and exageration for them. Two days later, it was the time for the three youngest to have their physicals. We got in the car and drove to the pediatricians office and when we got out, I noticed much foot dragging on our way through the parking lot. Heads were low, faces were pouted, and the self pity in the air was thick. "What's wrong guys?" I asked. "Why do we have to go to the dr.?" they whined. "Because staying healthy is important" I answered, "and the school says you have too!" I couldn't help but throw in! Aubrey and Rhett walked into the office and sat down, but Gabe, our youngest, grabbed my hand with much urgency, right before we entered, "Mom", he whispered, almost panicked, "Keller says that the dr. is going to check out my Business! I DO NOT want anybody checking out my Business!!" Of course, I became hysterical. This marks the first time I have ever heard the reference "my Business". When we got in the office, I whispered to the three of them, "is that what all this pouting is about? your business???" They reluctantly nodded their heads. "do you know how much 'business' these dr's have checked? this is no big deal!" I said. This was followed by some more "man up" language that I am beginning to get good at:)

Finally in the dr's office, the three boys got this wonderful pediatrician who chatted with them about what it's like to have 5 boys in a family, and what career plans they have. The conversation was both amusing and heartwarming. To hear them talk about their futures was just so neat. Two of the boys said they wanted to be missionaries, Gabe said he wants to be a "crabber". "Oh, have you been crabbing?" the dr. asked. "Yea, once" Gabe responded. "Did you catch any crabs?" the dr. continued. "only one little one that escaped through the net", he answered, "But when I grow up, I'm going to be really good at it!" Pretty funny stuff. The other amusing aspect of the visit was the dr's questions about how we had 5 children. hmmm....
anyway, this was followed by questions about grocery bills, peanut butter, milk, bread, sleeping arrangements, the square footage of our home, and on and on... If you're thinking "what does this have to do with physicals?" you are not alone. Finally, the dr. admitted that he was fascinated with large families since he had been an only child. Oookkayy... Well the answers are...grocery bills? high. Peanut butter? about a jar a day. Milk? a gallon a day. Bread? a loaf a day. Sleeping arrangements? lots of boys together. Square footage? 1400. All these answers and more may appear on my new reality show...ha ha, JK!!!

In the end, every one was vaccinated, weighed, measured, examined and Business checked. All is well with the Syverson boys and they may even be able to go to school!!!