Well, as many of you moms can relate, preparing for Halloween when you have children can be more overwhelming than Christmas! Stores seem to get there pumpkins and bats out earlier and earlier, and this year I swear it was August when Rhett spied some Halloween decorations in a local store. "Oh, mom" he said, "we neeeeed to get ready for Halloween!" I reminded him that we were no where near neeeeeeding to get ready for Halloween. After all, I am a last minute type gal, who was raised by another last minute type gal, who didn't even let this gal TALK about Halloween until October 15th. This rule stood in my childhood home as law until I left home. If you tried to talk to mom about Halloween, she would say, "I'm sorry, is it October 15th?" Sad to say, I find myself expressing the same Halloween exhasperation with my own children. Usually it starts with me saying "Is it already October 15th?"
Anyway, last week I decided to take the boys out and get them some costumes. They are going to participate in a Halloween parade this weekend, and they get to march in their costumes through the main street in town and be judged for their originality. When I realized this was competitive, I became slightly more interested. With Brey and Keller being too old (according to them) to dress up for Halloween, that only left me with three to outfit. Immediately I started coming up with themed ideas that could win them the big prize. "How about the three stooges?" I suggested, rather impressed with myself. They just looked at me blankly. "It would be great", I said, and I continued explaining about Larry, Curly and Moe. I'm pretty sure one of them rolled their eyes at me, as the rest shook their head no. "Okay", I said, "Your cousin Evy is dressing as Dorothy, how about if you guys dress as the tin man, scarecrow and lion???" Again...blank staring. At this point, Keller put his arm around me, "Sorry mom, those are really good ideas though".
Finally, I gave up and we headed to the costume store. Standing in the aisle, staring at roughly fifty costumes, the chaos began. Rhett informed me first that he wanted to be "Mustard". "Really? You want to be a tube of mustard?" I asked. He nodded his head. We asked for the costume and thank goodness, they didn't have it in his size. Hmmmm....Rhett was back to the drawing board. Gabe was after anything that had to do with star wars, or clones, or transformers or some other "cloney" looking thing. After several attempts, we found something "clonish" (I honestly don't know what he is) in his size. He held it tight and began telling me all about all the other accesories he would be needing to complete his costume. This began sounding like the teacher in Charlie Brown in my left ear, because really all I could hear in my right ear was Aubrey. "Can I get this one?" he asked, pointing at the disgusting Jason guy with blood coming out his eyes. "No" I answered. "How about this one?" he continued, pointing at the Freddy Krueger costume. "Nope", I replied. (Big sigh from Aubrey) "Oh, how about thiiiisss one?" he asked pointing to some gross zhombie guy with his guts hanging out and his eyeball in his hand. "Nooo", I answered. He lowered his head and shook it from side to side. Rhett says, "can I be a sumo wrestler?" "Sure" I said and he picked up his costume and smiled. Aubrey looked at me with his mouth wide open. "How come he can be what he wants?" he asked. "Because, he isn't asking for something horrible and disgusting," I answered. "Now do you want to try again?" Ever the diplomat, Keller decided to intervene and help me understand what it was that Aubrey was trying to achieve. "He wants to be something scary, mom", he said, with Aubrey nodding behind him.
So, at this point I tried to remember that I am a girl and maybe this is something I just don't get. So I tried to find my masculine side...."How about this werewolf costume?", I asked, "it's pretty scary." He rolled his eyes, and again we were off and running. "how about this one?" he asked, pointing at the grim reaper. I just shook my head. "Aubrey, if you want to be something scary, you can be the werewolf", I said. He stood there looking at the werewolf costume for a few minutes, which was fine since Gabe was still going on about accessories, and Rhett was searching for facial hair to go with his sumo costume. "Mom, if I get the werewolf costume, can I put blood all over my hands?" he asked. "No" I answered. "Can the werewolf carry a bloody knife?" he continued. "No" I replied. "Can the werewolf be carrying a pistol?" he asked. "No, Aubrey, werewolfs don't carry weapons", I said, "that's why he has such big teeth". He just stood there looking at me. "Mom its just not scary enough", he said. So, we left the store with the clone thingy and the sumo wrestler, but nothing for Aubrey. I'm afraid he is a boy of little compromise. I'm sure that can be used for good when he becomes a man, but for now it doesn't seem to be helping him much. The parade is tomorrow and he is still on the hunt for a costume. Who knows he may just be going as a tween boy with a very unreasonable mother, hmmm...I bet there are lots of those :)